Letters to my baby, Oakley's 2nd Birthday.

mummy blogger, letters to my baby

March 13th 2017, my first born son turns 2 years old, not an easy thing to accept. I thought the 1st year milestone was a tough one but boy I was wrong. He was still such a baby then and I just couldn’t see it. The difference from last year to now is hard to digest, accepting that soon it will be big boy beds and potty training quite frankly breaks my heart in two. Like most mums (I’m sure), I set out with all the intentions of storing everything. I was going to write a journal keeping track of all our memories, scrap books, photo albums and memory boxes galore, safe to say that has not happened. Life simply gets in the way, days roll into weeks, weeks into months and before you know it your crying into your morning coffee at the prospect of owning a 24 month old (totally not acceptable to use months to measure age at this point is it?!) But here I am, finally going to fulfill a time capsule idea that I wanted to do this time last year. I purchased this little book from Little Paperie , inside are envelopes for handwritten letters, each one with a different statement or question giving great topics to speak about and making it easier for you to know just what to say. So here are mine, this is a personal gift from me to my baby boy, something I hope he will appreciate in years to come.

My wishes for you are…

above all I wish for you love, happiness and health, In an unpredictable world these things truly are all you will need. I wish for you to love your life and everything in it, to know what real love is and love in return. I wish for you to have happiness in everything you do, not wasting time on anything that makes you feel saddened, unless it teaches you valuable lessons. I wish for you to always feel valued, you are important to many people and you should always know this. I wish for you to know your worth, let this empower you to dream big and achieve everything you desire to achieve in life. I wish you well being, that you never have to experience ill-health on a larger scale and that if ever you were unfortunate, I wish you never to feel alone. I wish for you to support others, to always be kind, caring and thoughtful. To always act with the best interest at heart, being a role model to your peers and doing the right thing. I wish for you to be strong, in all sense of the word; strong willed, strong minded and strong bodied, always believing in yourself.

I wish you the world, Oakley Colin Gray. 

mummy blogger, letters to my baby

What I want you to know about me…

You should know that I was selfish before you came along, I spent far too much time and money on things or people that were not of value. The second I knew I was pregnant with you it was as if a switch was switched, I began to take less time in caring about those silly things, you were my only focus. I always thought I had purpose but I honestly didn’t, you were my purpose. You should know that I always wanted to be a mother and to create a whole family, that I planned you and wanted you so very badly. You should know that I’m probably going to be one of those really embarrassing mums on the playground, and that I cant wait to stick your art work on the fridge or help you with your homework. That I look forward to all the little things, those normal family things like eating as a family around the table and trips to the zoo with soggy sandwiches. You should know I think about our future all the time but then snap back and never actually want you to grow.

Most of all you should know that I’m totally utterly obsessed with you and that I’m so proud to be your mama.

mummy blogger, letters to my baby

The world I want to give you is…

one that is accepting of you, one were you can always be yourself, never shying away for the fear of rejection. I want you live in a kinder world, were people give just as much as they take. A world with less violence and more peace would be the world I want you to know. A world that doesn’t judge you but loves you for all that you are bringing to it. 

mummy blogger, letters to my baby

One really special thing about you is…

Now this could never be just one thing. There are hundreds of special things about you but I will let you in on my favourites. 

Your infectious smile and laugh. You were 5 weeks when we saw your first smile and from that moment on you smiled forever. Still to this day some members of the family are yet to hear you cry because you truly are the happiest little boy I have ever known. Your giggle is contagious, your belly laugh creates the warmest feeling inside of me, like pure sunshine. 

The loving side of you. You have always been a cuddler, never shy to give anyone a hug and you always seem to know when I need one the most. The way you grab my face to pull me in for a kiss and the way you wrap your arms around my neck when I carry you up to bed, send shivers down my spine because the love pours out of you and onto us. You grit your teeth when you love on your sister, the same way I grit my teeth when my love for you gets all to much and I have to prevent myself from squeezing you to death. True story. 

Your curious and adventurous soul. From the moment you built your strength you were a hazard to yourself, a pint sized ‘wrecking ball’ your curiosity (although dangerous at times) has been so amazing to witness. You crawled way earlier than most your age, you walked at 10 months old and you had and still have a great love of the outdoors. You flourish in the summer time and spend your days running rings around me whilst we enjoy our adventures. I love this part of you, you are simply a free spirit.  

mummy blogger, letters to my baby

On the day you were born…

Friday the 13th. Unlucky for some, but so incredibly lucky for us. One of the longest days of my life but by far the best date that will forever me instilled in my memory. On the day you were born your family and friends texted, called and anxiously waited for your arrival, they thought about you all day until after 15 hours you finally arrived. The day you were born spring had begun, the weather was cool and the blossom trees had begun to bloom. On the day you were born you made me and your daddy the happiest people in the world, you made us parents and the day you were born will not be forgotten. Ever. 

mummy blogger, letters to my baby

All the things I hope you will try someday… 

I hope you remain adventurous, perhaps not ‘jumping outa planes’ adventurous but I hope you try things that make your heart beat that little bit faster. I hope you get to see more of the world than just where we take you, I hope you travel to cool places and make new friends along the way. I hope you seize once in a lifetime opportunitys if they come your way, you only get one chance at writing your own journey Oaks, make it one worth writing about. 

mummy blogger, letters to my baby

Your first home was like this…

Warm, homely and full to the brim of love. We may not have it all but we made our home as perfect as we could for your arrival, a family home. The kind of home that felt an overwhelming sense of calm when you entered, were you could rest your little head and feel so safe and loved. The days following your arrival home were filled with flowers, cards and gifts all on display in the living room for visitors to see, your Moses basket placed under the window sill so proudly taking in all the spring sunlight outside. Our home never looked so perfect until you were placed into it. Your nursery was perfect shades of grey, white and blue with so many personal touches and items for you to see and learn about as you grew, your daddy took so much care into decorating that room just for you and I only wish you could of witnessed the pride radiating from him as I did when it was finished, he was so desperate to see you in it. 

mummy blogger, letters to my baby

My first impressions of you were…

What a chunk! 9.3lb of beautiful squishy (hairy) baby. I couldn’t get over the size of you, so confused that you had been curled up inside my stomach for 9 months. You were strong, I knew once you’d lifted your head at 60 minutes old that you were without a doubt going to be just fine. You were amazing, a little dream, a laid back boy who loved to be rested on my chest. We spent 5 days in hospital so my impressions of you soon turned from impressions to actual reality and the reality was that you were perfect in every way! 

mummy blogger, letters to my baby

I laugh when you…

Laughing is something that comes natural around you, people you meet, even strangers can laugh as they witness your character and your little quirks. I laugh when you laugh, that belly giggle of yours could make the heartbroken whole again, it makes me giggle until my tummy aches and I’ve never felt as happy as when I see you happy and hear you laughing. 

I laugh when you dance and jump, that little bounce you do when you hear your favourite songs or you watch the best parts of your favourite films. I laugh when you high five, fist pump or shake the hands of everyone and anyone you meet, it always catches them by surprise and it’s so entertaining to watch. I laugh when you play spinning around, the way you loose your balance and fall over but proceed to keep spinning until your too dizzy and give up. Your a little comedian in your own right Oakley.

mummy blogger, letters to my baby

Your idea of a good time… 

Would be begun with waking from a huge nap, with your favourite blankets. You would watch your favourite tv with a bottle of tea, and you would drink it sat on my knee whilst I played with your curls. You love being outdoors so a good time to you would be exploring at the castle, finding secret gardens and chasing squirrels. A trip to the park too so you could scream ‘weeeeeeee’ as I push you on the swings and you go fast down the slides. It’s amazing how the most simple pleasures make you so unbelievably happy, it’s a subtle reminder of your innocence. 

mummy blogger, letters to my baby

Oakley Colin Gray, your dramatic entry into the world was the best moment of my life, you made me a mother and there is no other greater gift I could ever recieve. You’ve taught me how to love unconditionally, you’ve taught me to always celebrate the happiness each normal day brings. Because of you I laugh and smile everyday without fail, because of you I’m able to always ‘look on the bright side of life’ I see the whole world in a completely different way now, Thank you for reminding me why life is so special, I couldn’t love you anymore if I tried and I can’t wait to see the person you become. 

Mummy x